Anusara Yoga Classes in Austin

Speaking in front of people.  Yes.....it's true.  When I wake up on the mornings of teaching public class, workshops, teacher training's I have a tingling in my tummy and a lump in my throat.    Then my mind goes into a tail spin.....what will i talk about, what will I teach, I don't have anything to share, oh shit......I'm not going to be INSPIRING or SPIRITUAL because I'm freaking out right now. After seven years of teaching yoga on a very regular basis......that same feeling still persists.


So yes, this is my human nature.  Wether it's a weak 3rd Chakra, vata derangement, or generalized anxiety disorder it's what it is and it's me.  In the past it's been debilitating to the point where I physically make myself sick.  Monologues in drama, singing solos in choir, and giving speeches in speech class or debate always made me nervous to the point of suffering with sleepless nights and a tummy ache.  Teaching yoga has been an extension of that experience.  But the humor in it all is this,  I sign myself up for it.  Speech, Drama, Debate, Choir......these were all electives in school.  And  teaching yoga, my choice.  Believe me,no one ever pressured me into or at the very least suggested that I should teach yoga.  Nope it was all my idea.  Every choice was mine. And then I choose to teach Anusara Yoga which requires  a process of learning how to speak clearly and inspire groups of people into making lasting change in their bodies, minds, and heart.  Not an easy task to say the least.  In fact teaching yoga is the hardest thing I've ever done.  Pushing boulders up hills would be easier for me and sometimes I think that is what I would rather do on days when I'm in a big frenzy.  But alas my choice always is show up and teach. 


Now these day's I deal with anxiety and it doesn't get to me like it used to.  I've learned some really valuable tools along the way to help me with stage fright.  The tools I've use mostly I've learned from yoga.  Which is funny to me that I have to do yoga to even be able to teach yoga.  Not in the sense of I have to do yoga so I can have an authentic experience and be able to share that with my students....yes it's that.  But so much more......I have to do yoga so I don't crawl into myself and hide out of fear and overwhelming anxiety.  It's either yoga or RX.  Again, my choice, the former is the more difficult. 


I'm inspired to share my real issues so that I can put in to context what the following tools and practices that I share in class have to do with life.


To deal with anxiety:


1) Open to Grace- My account of Opening to Grace is this. I take a moment and soften.  What does that mean.  Well try it.....take a moment and ask yourself to soften and calm down.   The result when we really take a moment or two and ask ourselves to relax we feel more connected to the truth, Our Truth.  And for me when teaching yoga, my truth is I've got a lot to share and am excited about what yoga can do for others and all I have to do is relax back into that truth.


2) Feel my feet on the ground-  For me there is a big connection to the quality of my mind and attitude in relationship to feeling my feet on the ground.  Don't get me wrong I love to get swept off my feet.  But when it comes to anxiety and stage fright feeling my two feet planted on the ground calms me down.  Simply standing and breathing I place my awareness on the soles of my feet and feel my connection to the floor/earth.  Just that simple gesture of my awareness shifts me into a calmer state.  And when I calm, I'm more clear, and when I'm clear and calm I don't feel anxious. Try it.....kick of your shoes, go stand in the grass, and feel your feet on the ground and notice what it does to your mind and heart.  It will feel good, I promise you that.


3) Know that I'm supported and loved-  I feel extremely blessed as I have many people in my life who love me.  When freaking out, I think of all those who love me.....my future husband, family, students, and friends.  It's a lot like when I was a little girl and I thought "Jesus Loves me No Matter What" .  Well to me our humanly love is an expression of god.  So when I think of those who love me, I know God loves me.  And that is one of the sweetest ways I deal with anxiety, knowing that I'm loved and supported.


4) Make a Plan-  Those of you who attend my classes know that i carry my notebook with me 98% of the time. That notebook is my safety net.  I don't "wing" classes.  That would not be a good experience for me.  I thrive when I come to class with a considerate, well thought out plan.  I know some teachers who say they plan but end up throwing it out the window as they believe their plan is  not what the students need.  Not me, I  stick with plan.  Which is just a basic outline of a sequence with a simple theme.  It's not elaborate so there is plenty room for spontaneity and creativity.  This is a reflection for how I like to live my life.  My days are not planned to the "T'.  However I do wake up every morning with an idea of what I will do that day.  And that is what excites me about life and gets me out of bed each day, knowing that I have a plan and purpose for my day. 

A student of mine recently asked me what was on my bucket list.  Ya know, all things you want to do before you kick the bucket.  He happened to ask me two days ago when Betsey Downing, co-chair of the Anusara certification committee, gave me the call to congratulate me on being officially certified.  So I told him that I just checked one off the list.


I took my second Anusara Yoga class within the first few weeks of moving to Austin on Sept. 3 2005.  The class was with Liz B and that is where is got my calling to teach Anusara Yoga.  There is a wonderful story about how I even found Liz's class , but that is for another post at another time.  Almost immediately I was on a plane out to Pasadena, CA where my dad lives.  It just so happened that Noah Maze and Naime where teaching an Anusara Immersion and Teacher Training at a studio near his home. In those months spent with Noah and Naime my mind, body, and heart where blown away at the beauty of the Anusara Yoga system.  As a virgo I'm fascinated with systems, methods, and all things orderly.  Really Anusara Yoga was the opposite of who I was at that time...... which was a beautiful mess.   As a yoga teacher I was swept away by the language.  The way Anusara Yoga teachers got their students into poses, each instruction  colored by inspired words and an intelligence that I had yet to find in my own teachings.  Not to mention the depths of opening and power that I was experiencing in my own body. 


A really long journey and story short.  Soon after my time in sunny California I met John Friend, Desiree Rumbaugh, and my local teacher Charly Pivert.  Two years later Christina Sell came to town.  Each one of my teachers have rocked my world in the best and also the most challenging ways. Truth be told I have not always had nice and gracious feelings toward some of them. Other's, especially John, i've been blinded by a bright light and couldn't imagine seeing them as anything else but amazing.  But at this moment I have nothing but gratitude for all my teachers.  How can one aspiring young ambitious yoga teacher be so fortunate to have so many teachers?  Well as the saying goes...when the student is ready the teacher will appear.  And many apparitions later I've entered into the realm of standing alongside the giants of the yoga teaching industry.  


 To end, what does it feel like to be a Certified Anusara Yoga teacher?  In some ways it was anti-climatic, and in that very humbling.  It's not like it has any universal recognition, a truth that I came to realize only 24 hours ago.  Most people have not a clue what Anusara Yoga is.  And yet at the same time there is a great sense of accomplishment and success.  The feeling of immense gratitude towards my teachers and students is like nothing I've ever felt before.  So I  feel divinely discontent and asking okay whats next while triumphantly checking something off my bucket list.  Feels pretty darn good.